questions i was asked about dancing in tasmania that have caught my interest #2: dealing with 'difficult' partners

2. What should follows or leads do with ‘difficult’ partners? What should a follow do if the lead yanks really hard? What should a lead do if the follow stands still and won’t ‘come in’ on a swingout.

My first thought in this situation is to take a long hard look at myself: what am I doing that may be contributing to this situation? And then, what can I do to change this?

As a follow, if I’m being yanked in really hard by my lead, I might decide to either a) give back what my partner’s asking for. A general ‘rule’ for following is to mirror back to the lead the connection they give you – so if they get strong, you get strong too. This can, however, get you into a ‘strong race’, where you’re both being really strong and rough and it’s nasty. Another option, on the same theme, is to ‘do as you’re led’. So if they yank you in, channel the ‘momentum’ of that yank and ‘come in’ with the same degree of power as you’re led. This can get rough. But the lead – if they’re paying attention – will get a bit of a surprise and hopefully think ‘what exactly is going on here?’ This can get tiring. But it’s one option. We have talked lately about letting the momentum into your body and then rechannelling it to do something else, but that’s tricky and not something I know how to talk about yet. Let alone do. Another option is to do the opposite – go really ‘light’ and sort of let the momentum flow out of you. I have found that this sometimes encourages the lead to yank harder.

It’s really a matter of context. If your lead is a beginner, they mightn’t be aware enough of their own bodies let alone yours, to be able to recognise what you’re doing and adjust their dancing. If they are more experienced, they may or may not figure out what you’re doing. My one feeling is that if they are paying attention to you, they will have a think about what you’re both doing and experiment with the connection to find a more comfortable medium. Some leads aren’t capable of ‘sharing’ while they dance, and you simply have to adjust to that. Some leads might say to you ‘what was happening there?’ and then you can really explain what you were feeling and how that made you move.

Often a yanky lead is made worse by being a yanky follow. I don’t want to get yanky as a follow, so I tend to avoid ‘matching the yank’. I find the ‘rushing in as fast as they yank’ a useful and effective tactic, which is actually pretty tricky. If I’m feeling tired and cranky, I just avoid that person for a while. The most effective tactic I’ve found is to ‘get their attention’ by doing something unexpected. This often encourages them to change what they’re doing, or to start thinking about what they’re doing. This can have negative fallout, though, so I use it judiciously.

As a lead, however, with a ‘won’t come in follow’, I also stop and have a think about my own movement. Am I being a ‘yanky’ lead to compensate for a follow who ‘feels’ slow or stuck or immovable? What am I doing that makes it possible for her to stand still? There are some tricks that I use to keep us both moving. First, I think it’s important to never let the momentum between you stop. The easiest way to avoid this is for me – the lead – to never ‘stop’. I assume that the follow is taking cues (whether consciously or not) from my own body, so this means keeping myself in motion if I want them to stay in motion, etc. So if I find my partner has ‘stopped’, is it because I have stopped? This ‘stoppage’ often happens on 7/8, so the follow feels ‘heavy’ on 1 and 2 when I’m beginning to think ‘ok, let’s get in there and swingout. If this is the case, I adjust my swingout, and make sure I don’t leave a ‘dead’ spot where I’m not moving on 8 or 1 or wherever. I stop thinking of my swingouts or sets of 8 counts as separate parts, and thinking of them all as one ‘dance’, where each single step is the important part. So I’m thinking about each and every weight change/step as important, or as a single unit, rather than each 8 count. But each ‘step’ is linked to another by my ‘preparation’. I think of my bounce as my preparation.

So if I want to take a step forward on my right foot, I need to first get my weight onto my left foot to free my right foot for movement. Because I’m doing lindy hop and swinging, I make use of my ‘bounce’ to get me moving across the floor. When I go down in my bounce, bending my knees and ‘coiling’ my calf muscles, I’m storing energy in my body. When I come ‘up’ out of my bounce, I use my calves to ‘bounce’ me up. If I want to move forward, I redirect this energy ‘forward’. If I want to take a big step (as in a slide) I need a big down-bounce.

But if I want to take a normal, small step forward with my right foot, I have my weight on my left foot. I bounce ‘down’ on that left foot, bringing my weight down into the ground, and then I use my calf to push my back ‘up’ – forward – into the step. Just like a sprinter pushing off from the blocks, or a swimmer leaping from the blocks at the beginning of a race.

How does this relate to keeping a follow moving?

If I don’t bounce, I have to get the energy or momentum from somewhere. It takes longer to find energy than to use the energy you have stored in coiled muscles. So it takes longer for me to get moving. If I’m standing still at the beginning of my swingout, and ‘start’ leading, I am more likely to use my arm to ‘lead’ the follow towards me. Then I’m yanking. Which is not only rough, it’s also inefficient. It’s far more effective for me to initiate a lead before the actual ‘count’, before I want the step to ‘begin’. So if I want the follow to step forwards on ‘1’ I need to start preparing way earlier. Luckily, we’re dancing. And I’ve quite often just done a triple step before hand on 7-and-8 (esp if I’m doing 2 swingouts in a row). And I’m bouncing. So I begin my swingout before 1 with the previous triple step, where I gather momentum, and I bounce down just before ‘1’ on my ‘8’ bounce. In other words, I don’t ever allow myself to stand still. It’s hard to get yourself moving from a standstill, and even harder to get two of you moving from a standstill.

So always think: what am I doing that has resulted in my partner standing still?

Sometimes a follow will completely ignore what you’re leading. They may be ‘hijacking’ for some fancypants move. They may simply not be paying attention to you. In the case where they’re ignoring you, get their attention by doing unexpected things. Vary the connection on your swingout. Do a move they might not know. Peck. Crazy legs. Breakaway and do some solo stuff. Whatever it takes to get them to ‘listen’. Don’t get rough. Don’t bully. Don’t dance angry. Get productive. If they are pulling out some crazy hijack, maybe you need to listen to them. It’s as important to be aware of where your partner’s weight is as it is to think of your own weight changes.